White Chicks (2004)

Directed by Keenen Ivory Wayans
Starring Shawn Wayans, Marlon Wayans, Busy Phillips
…
I don’t even know where to begin.  Frankly, I’m a little ashamed to have even seen this.  The other movies at least had some kind of draw to see them, a memorable reoccuring villain, an ailing franchise, a giant shark…but this?  What is my excuse?  [...]

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)

Directed by William Shatner

Starring William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, James Doohan, George Takei, Walter Koenig, Nichelle Nichols
I’m a trekkie.
There I said it. But this film questioned my faith in the franchise, almost as much as Insurrection, but at least 9 had some decent effects. After watching this film in the theater, I [...]

Hellraiser 8: Hellworld (2005)

Directed by Rick Bota
Starring Doug Bradley, Stelian Urian, Lance Henriksen, Katheryn Winnick, Anna Tolputt, Henry Cavill
“8? There’s a Hellraiser 8?” you ask.
Yes, there’s a Hellraiser 8, but it doesnt look anything like any of its predecessors and went straight to dvd. First off, look at that poster! Pinhead’s in the Matrix! [...]

Zombies Gone Wild (2007)

Directed by (this film is so bad it doesn’t even have a director, I’m not kidding)
Starring Ryan Bartlett, Dave Competello, Trevor Davis (basically, nobody)
This is the worst movie I have ever seen, and that’s saying a lot. It’s fucking awful.
Remember those movies you made as a kid with your friends, the ones where you [...]

The Lady in the Water

Directed by M. Night Shamalyan
Starring Paul Giamatti, Bryce Dallas Howard
There was once a janitor who cleaned peoples’ pool. He found a young fairy and looked like a fool. They fought a green dog, and I wrote in my blog, god what a fucking piece of shit. Sorry, that last bit doesn’t fit [...]

Alone in the Dark (2005)

Directed by Uwe Boll
Starring Christian Slater, Tara Reid, Stephen Dorff
Ah Uwe Boll, how do I hate thee, let me count the ways. Let me count the 275,000+ ways other people are showing their distaste for Boll’s films at the “Stop Uwe Boll” from making movies petition. If you’ve seen any of his movies, [...]

D-War (2007)

Directed by: Hyung-rae Shim
Starring: Jason Behr, Amanda Brooks, Robert Forster
Don’t let the kick ass movie poster nor the half decent cg from the trailer fool you. D-War is not a good film. The story revolves around a young reporter in Los Angeles named Ethan, who happens to be a reincarnated Korean warrior who’s fate is [...]

Dead Silence (2007)

Directed by: James Wan
Starring: Ryan Kwanten, Amber Valetta, Donnie Wahlberg, Judith Roberts
“Beware the stare of Mary Shaw. She had no children only dolls. And if you see her in your dreams, do not ever, ever scream.” That is the poem that pretty much sums up this horrible movie. Mary Shaw was a ventriloquist who had [...]

Shark Attack 3: Megalodon

Directed by David Worth
Starring John Barrowman, Jennifer McShane
What bad movie review site would be complete without a Shark Attack 3 review? I mean really. It’s shameful we didn’t start out with this one…or a Uwe Boll movie, regardless, this could be the worst movie ever made, next to Zombies Gone Wild, but that’s [...]

Southland Tales (2007)

Directed by Richard Kelly
Starring Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson, Seann William Scott, Sarah Michelle Gellar
Welcome to Shitflix! Where we review only the worst movies that hit the screen. That’s right, watching dozens of movies a month is inevitably going to result in the viewing of some truly awful films. Films that just make [...]